I could scream, I am so frustrated right now!
I nearly just blew a gasket and opened up a can of kick-a** on TSO (the significant other)!
We just finished watching this Livestream interview at Facebook with Oprah Winfrey, and began discussing the challenges I face in my business.
When I started this blog, I hoped that keeping it generic would appeal to a broader audience (and ultimately, that more people would like me).
I was sharing how I realized now that this was a mistake and that I am trying to be more true to my intuition and deliver the message I am meant to give in my own unique way.
Ultimately, I had been afraid.
Afraid of speaking my mind. Afraid of what others would think if I did. Afraid that I would be misunderstood.
“I don’t think that’s your problem at all!” TSO disagreed.
Instantly, my blood boiled and my toes curled in resistance.
“Your problem is marketing,” TSO asserted. “You had the opportunity. You could have done it, but you didn’t.”‘
We were now discussing my book, An Imperceptible Spark.
After a short acknowledgment of what a great book it is, TSO launched in to a laundry list of ways in which I had failed in the process of successfully bringing the product to market.
This quick dismissal nearly set me off! I wanted to run away and scream all at the same time! I teetered on the edge of two of the “danger signs” in communication–withdrawal and escalation.
So I stopped for a second (mostly to try to calm myself)
Why was I filled by a blinding rage and the urge to take out TSO with a baseball bat? I wondered.
The Fundamental Human Need Revealed
The answer, I realized, lay in the fundamental human need (which was not being filled for me at the moment): we all want to be seen and heard.
I interpreted TSO’s statement and subsequent list of “you didn’ts” and “you should have’s” to mean “I didn’t listen to what you were saying, and it doesn’t matter to me. Now, here’s my point of view…”
The Wisdom of Oprah
Of course, that is not what TSO was trying to communicate, but that is the message I received.
Fortunately, I had just finished watching Oprah’s talk. Whew!
During the interview, she addressed this very issue. Here is her quote.
“We all want to be seen and to be heard, and every argument is about that.
All arguments come down to that–Do I matter? Does this matter to you?”
Renegades, you and I are connectors, communicators and catalysts for change.
Because we work to maximize the impact of our innate talents in revealing to others their own potential, the question each of us should be asking is how can I better show others that I see them, I hear them, and that they matter?
If we live our lives, run our businesses, and engage our relationships in this way, the rest will flow.
Okay, my rant is done, but I have one more thing to say.
Your presence here says, “I see you.”
Reading, re-tweeting or sharing my posts says, “I heard you.”
And your friendship tells me, “you matter.”
Each of you means so much to me.
You and I are Renegade Souls creating unconventional lives. We live on the edge, willing ourselves to take the leap.
As I continue to peel back the layers in my own life, I promise to bring the very best of what I have to offer and lay it all–the good, the bad, and the ugly (that may be trite, but you get the point)–out there.
It is not an easy road, but it is SO worth it. We’re on the “right track, baby”. We are forging ahead, changing lives and touching hearts as we learn to craft a life well-lived!